Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
