I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
