Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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