i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
