we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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