Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
