well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
if only i could text you this smell
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Houston, we have a blender
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
