bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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