I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
