Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
