i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
