I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
