it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
