Buhtt sex?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
