It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
