Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
