I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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