I want to make a zoo with you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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