Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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