i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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