half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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