I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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