just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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