bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
