The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
