its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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