her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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