my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
