i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
