Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
