Don't make out with my wife yet
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
