what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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