Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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