No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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