dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
