I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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