We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
