i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
