if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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