Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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