He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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