it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
