Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
After last night, I could never be a politician.
that's an acceptable place to lick
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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