I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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