suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have tasted many bathrooms
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize