Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
