dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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