just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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