im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
