I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
