school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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