you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
