Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He shit in the fireplace
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
