is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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