He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
