new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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