Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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