i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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