When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't think brook has ever known best
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
