so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
