I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.