Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.

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(718): View more from New York

If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.

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(208): View more from Idaho

i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(270): View more from Kentucky

How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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(509): View more from Washington

I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.

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(519): View more from Ontario

She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....

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(813): View more from Florida

He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?

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