I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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