It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
